Silvia! A Mystery Story [Excerpt/Chapter 1]

by Drake Long Sun Sep 06, 2015 1:18 pm

((Here's the first thing I'm submitting. I wrote a story originally for a friend's birthday, but after finishing it I decided I really like the concept I put down--- even if the execution wasn't so good. Now I want to rewrite it with the expectation of self-publishing it someday. I've also got plans to make two sequels/more parts. Before I can do any of that I need to fix what I have, though!

The trouble spots I identified: the dialogue, some important points seem rushed, description of certain areas. I'm ready for any critique, though. The story's divided into three parts right now so I'll just put the first one up.))

https://docs.google.com/a/miamioh.edu/document/d/155r1ZsmTjP6V_7PM0922SkQhPVTKq5JqDwA70N5Okzw/edit?usp=sharing

((Is a google doc.))